So, that went just okay. I need to learn how to talk more. And probably get a mic. I’ll get a better mic if 50 people comment on this exact page. Good Luck. Anyway, watching me watch something other people are also watching is fun and all, but what if you want to just get to the nitty-gritty? I’ve got you covered.
This is the list of games that made an appearance on the show. Each title will have initials indicating repeated features throughout the presentation, such as:
WP – World Premiere
XGP – Xbox Game Pass
SD – Smart Delivery
The first 3 are pretty self explanatory but just in case, let’s go over that. World Premiere means the game has officially been revealed. Xbox Game Pass is a monthly subscription service where you can play a rotating selection of over 100+ games, and all Xbox Exclusive titles end up on it. Smart Delivery is the new big thing. Anyting denoted with Smart Delivery means if you own it on Xbox One, you also own it on Xbox Series X. The game will most certainly be a higher quality experience on the XSX. It may sound mundane but this is the first time this has ever been done for consoles Alright, let’s see what we have…
Senua’s Saga: Hell Blade II
They didn’t actually announce anything. They just wanted to remind you that Microsoft owns Ninja Theory now and is looking promising. Here’s last year’s E3 trailer if you wanna know more on that. Fun fact, the song being chanted is a real European folk band called Heilung. XGP
Bright Memory Infinite
An FPS game with wallrunning and a grappling a hook, and that’s all you need to know. Okay maybe I should point out it looks absolutely awesome and was made by one person, Zeng Xiancheng. Check it out, great gameplay demo, albeit a short one. SD
Dirt is the top dog of the rally racing game scene, and this one looks spectacular. There’s not much else to say. You have all the new features the other racing games are doing, various weather conditions and times that affect the tracks in different ways. Oh, also it has four player LOCAL multiplayer, that’s a novelty! WP SD
This is a game that disgusted me so much I had to mentally bleach it from my brain. Then this presentation reminded me the game exists. It is genuinely too grotesque for me to play. Not much is really known about it gameplay-wise. XGP
It’s Starfox but with creepy cult scifi tones Lots of dark red and black contrasts with level design that reminds me of the Astral Plane from Astral Chain and Control. WP SD
Fuck off EA. WP
Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2
Thanks to the internet, this cult classic is finally getting the sequel fans have been craving. Appears to have the same game mechanics as the prior title, only better in some way. Can’t tell, the trailer is another pre-rendered cinematic. SD
Call of the Sea
This game appears to be a narrative experience game (AKA Walking Sim). It takes place on an island, has wonderfully rendered artistic graphics and… that’s it. The trailer was pretty vague. WP SD
A cyberpunk twin-stick shooter. Yeah that doesn’t really narrow it down. It’s very mech and exo-suit oriented. WP SD
The latest horror game from Bloober Team, who overall have a good track record. They appear to be branching out, as they’ve brought AkiraYamaoka of the Silent Hill soundtracks, to do the sound and music for this one. WP XGPSD
What if I told you the next Platinum Games game has you playing as anime characters fighting living breathing ferocious house plants and gardening creatures? Well, it’s not Platinum, it’s Bandai Namco, and it looks dope. WP SD
Presenting, the Turok/Dino Crisis spiritual successor that you never asked for. This game has dinosaurs, guns, and what appears to be 4 player co-op. WP SD
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
And now, the new Yakuza game that has been fixing to shake up the formula. From what we see in the trailer, it is still definitely a Yakuza game, but there are plenty of elements that make it unique. SD
Assassin’s Creed Valhalla
In case you didn’t hear the hubub, Ubisoft said they were premiering the first “gamplay trailer” for the game. This was a lie. It most certainly contains in-game animations, but still has not shown anything representative of how the game actually plays. Either way, the trailer is still very cool and of course the graphics look amazing. SD
That’s it. I saved you some time, you’re welcome.
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Hate reading? The audio version can be found HERE.
What could be better than playing DOOM completely sloshed?
(Playing it like normal apparently.)
Here we are, another day, another desperate attempt at attention by debasing myself for your amusement. Once again, I’ve found myself some consumption of the Devil’s Lettuce and Angry Juice, and the result is one of the most awful Let’s Play videos you’re going to see of Doom Eternal for a at least 2 weeks.
Still did way better that the people at Polygon & Kotaku. I know it’s annoying to watch some of this because it took me a while to learn that the chainsaw is FUCKING RECHARGEABLE even though the tutorial prompt said so. But that’s what you’re here for right? You want an expert to play, you can go to YouTube and watch someone do a no death run on nightmare difficulty. I’m sure someone has already done it. Let me look for one while you watch Part 2.
Here we are, some dude called Decino has a ton of Let’s Play videos on ludicrous difficulty settings. He’s not done but he’s gotten pretty far and has a playlist of his run. He’s hot 62.3K subscribers. That’s 62.2K more that me so that’s practically identical. Anyway, that’s a real Hard Mode Gamer right there!
Not that that means anything. Last game I beat on Hard Mode was… hmmm, Bayonetta 2 on Switch and Devil May Cry V as far as I can remember. I’m sure there’s more. If you wanna see my actually try hard at games, you can smash that like….. oh wait this is the website nevermind. Well on Youtube you can… oh I stopped posting videos to YouTube because they’re trash now.
You can follow Hard Mode Gamers here on Facebook. Facebook is ite. Sound good? Good.
Learning how to play as more healers like Mercy, Baptiste, Lucio, and Moira
Click this poorly constructed link to check out the most recent shenanigans feating me, VindallTV, and some other guy whose name I repeatedly forget. Not because he’s not memorable, my brain just throws away people’s names almost immediately. Oh! Anyway, the gameplay vid:
So yeah, “Chet Improves at Overwatch” is a pretty good title. But just so you know, “improve” doesn’t mean “good”. I suck so if you have a hard time watching people be bad at a game, you may want to turn away.
You gotta admit, I’m fast learner. I was using Lucio for like 5 minutes before immediately wallrunning around like I’m playing Titanfall. Shout out to Titanfall BTW. Still, doesn’t help that I didn’t know shooting my teammates did NOT heal them and I was wasting my time with that. Hilarious.
I also took quickly to Baptiste after initially being god-awful at it. One I learned how the health grenades worked, I jumped from ‘scrub’ to ‘competent’ in two matches. I like the healing grenade but god damn do I hate his gun. Burst firing is not my thing, and slow burst firing is even worse. Seems rather ineffectual in PvP so I stuck to healing my friends.
In Battlefield V, I stick to healing. It only makes sense that I also do it here. It’s a rather fun thing to pull off. So, if you wanna see Chet improve at Overwatch, get ready to see more and more medic plays. I’m sure they are totally fun to watch and not as bad as watching pain dry. Unless you were being paid to watch paint dry, that would be pretty lit.
Chet improves at overwatch is brought you by the letter D, for dumb.
You’re in for one hell of a trainwreck, my dudes. Please ignore the background noises, I’m stuck at home in quarantine and my family still thinks they are actually going to go on a vacation. Hah, laugh at both mine and their misfortune. Anyone who thinks going on vacation is a viable thing in the near future is just setting themselves up for disappointment. Sad!
Oh uh, right, Final Fantasy 7 Remake the Official Game Deluxe for PS4 is out, if you haven’t played the demo yet, I’m assuming you don’t have internet or having just been living in the woods. Nothing wrong with living in the woods. What’s fun with this vid is watching me get worse and worse as I get further into it.
It gets even worse when for the entire boss fight, I didn’t realize that I had to switch to Barrett to cast lightning. So I was annoyed when Cloud kept saying “use lightning” and I’m like “how?” Well, just to prove I’m better than that Kotaku guy, I still managed to beat the boss. It was tough and I got progressively worse at playing the game as time went on. Cursed muscle memory is cursed.
I really do wanna play the whole game when this comes out, but my biggest concern is that my PS4 seems to be incapable of installing some games. Short version is it refuses to download Siege or Spiderman, I’ve contacted Sony and we’ve literally done EVERYTHING and it still won’t download. They said to go to someone elses house and try their network instead. They legit told me this, twice. During the pandemic.
So how exactly did taking my Overwatch virginity come about? Well… a friend wanted to play it. I told him I don’t want to play your stupid game. He insisted I play his stupid game. Last time I played a stupid game with him, he had me play Sea of Thieves. SEA. OF. THIEVES. I thought he was kidding.
He wasn’t. Turns out though, that even though I couldn’t care less for the game, I was good at helming the ship! Nice.
But Overwatch wasn’t too bad really. I got to play three rounds or so. Could have been more. I didn’t want to play more. I wanted to open my lootboxes! Not because I was excited to open them. I just wanted to experience firsthand, the introduction of the game mechanic that ruined video games forever. I was not impressed. Why do people like these? Tags? Voice lines? You serious? I understand skins but, come on, really? This? You want me to spend money on this? NO.
Anyway, lootbox mini-rant aside, this is the footage. We did terribly, you have been warned. Next time I will try to get the audio a bit better balanced. As of right now, streaming it alone was a very spur-of-the-moment move. If you wanna check out my friend who’s way more skilled, head over to VindallTV. He puts actual effort in. Unlike yours truly.
For SEO reasons I’m just going to write Overwatch Virginity here. Stop reading and enjoy the damn video you c-
A final reflection on the games of 2019. It’s a bit late to talk about last year but I filmed this a month ago and it needs to be seen. Consider this a preamble to the HMG redemption arc.
That’s right, 2019 was awesome, I hated it. As of right now, YouTube sucks so I’m going to be sticking with Facebook Watch or any other non-YT video hosting platform. Plus, the FB page is where all the memes are at, so follow the video to my page and SMASH THAT LIKE.
Hi I’m Chet Harrison and this is my pawn shop. Okay just kidding this a review page. Anyway, I like karting games but our pal Dale Desimone (Zeke) is an expert on these things and can tell us what we’re really dealing with here. Team Sonic Racing is a multi-platform kart racing game smart enough to release before Crash Team Racing pops up and takes over. Is this any good? YES*
*mainly for couch multi and it being multi-platform. It’s better than Mario Kart anyway. ^_-
MAJOR SPOILERS IN THE VIDEO MINOR SPOILERS IN DESCRIPTION You have been warned.
Hell of a headline. You know, usually in video games that give you romance options, you have a pretty good idea at who you want to go for. I frequently play as a female and go after men or women equally, but as a man, a bit less so. YET, here I am playing the third episode of this hit series and I found myself thinking. Making my character gay is DEFINITELY the better option. The character you meet who you can express interest in actually makes more sense to the plot. And I liked him better than the woman you can express interest in. Just in time for pride month!
Also mad props to the game for throwing in D.A.N.C.E. by Justice, that completely blindsided me. Like I thought Spotify accidentally opened or something but nope, it was the game.
That’s right, I content that Metro Exodus is a survival horror game that occassionally becomes a shooter. I go over that in the beginning. But after, if I still have your attention, I have some nice tips for you if you plan on taking this incredible journey.
Assassins Creed III is the latest game from Ubisoft to receive the “Remaster” treatment. Pretty much all of their games have now been upgraded or started that way. Even Assassins Creed 1 has Xbox One X enhancements. Yet still, there are a plethora of videos popping up. They show the new remaster looking much worse than the original. This isn’t even the first time this has been done. Assassins Creed, the Ezio Trilogy was also lambasted for looking worse. However, in that case, it didn’t actually look worse. Polygon just chose to only show off stuff that looks worse. It included a bug that has nothing to do with the remaster. And here they are doing it again. The character models may look like clay, but everything else in the game looks far better than it ever did before. Here’s why.
Also, it’s free if you had the season pass for Assassins Creed Odyssey. Considering that the standalone game or the season pass both cost 40, you should definitely buy the latter.