Latino Gamer Problems!

Ayyy Dios Mio.

Another week, another slow stream of gaming news. This week, however, is slightly different. I turned 26 today and because of the distractions of my last couple days being 25, the Lucky Gamer Recap will be a bit delayed. Forgive me. Or don’t, that’s cool too. Regardless, not going to be the most exciting LGR cause it’s mostly bad news. To make up for it, I thought i’d harness the power of Grandma’s ability to prevent me from doing the one thing I wanted to do on my big day, play video games. Here are a few Latino (although they may be true for everyone) Gamer Problems.

No screen is ever big enough.

When i was younger I would always tell my self “One day I’ll have a screen big enough to be able to play and no one could pass by and interrupt my game!” 20 years later I live on my own I have a Beautiful 65 inch 4K screen and yet my grandmother can still manage to come over and walk by and block the entire screen! She could be sitting back not doing a damn thing the whole time in my house but as soon as I fire up the PS4 whammy the floor is dirty and needs to be swept, the TV console needs to be dusted, and for some strange reason the ceiling above the TV needs to be mopped. I just don’t understand.

On that note, no speaker is loud enough either.

While I’m on the topic of spontaneous decision making lets address volume. Latino households are typically super loud. I mean like obnoxiously loud. So loud that a room of three sounds like a stadium of 100. Come on people get it together but I live alone so that shouldn’t be an issue anymore right? Wrong! My grandmother will come visit and then as soon as I fire up the PS4 she remembers that she needs to make what seems to be the most important phone call of her whole life. Which would be cool if she could keep her damn voice down. She yells her entire conversation as if she is physically trying to put her voice through the phone and directly into the other persons ear. Like the other person can’t just raise the volume on their phone. I promise the other person can raise the volume on her phone mama.

Every console belongs to Nintendo.

Through out my entire life I’ve been more of a Playstation Gamer. Fanboy alert! But I’ve owned many other consoles and at times owning every console within a generation, however in my grandmas eyes all I have is a bunch of differently shaped Nintendo’s. Not even a specific Nintendo no she just believes the name of any video game console is a Nintendo. PS4? Nintendo. Xbox 360? Nintendo. Nintendo 64? Juego. Oh yea I forgot to mention she doesn’t call Nintendo consoles “Nintendo”, she just calls those games.

Everything is dirty.

By now i’m sure you may have noticed a recurring issue that my grandma has with my house, if not let me tell you. Whenever I’m too far invested in a video game she also seems to far invested in the belief that my house is filthy. I mean the floor, the walls, the ceiling literally anything she can reach that happens to be near me playing a video game needs to be thoroughly cleaned which leads me to believe that either A) my house is filthy or B) my house is filthy however only when I’m trine crush skulls and rack body counts.

I really don’t understand why I need to go to the store right now.

And finally, perhaps the biggest issue on the list. When its time to play video games its also time to go shopping. Grandma needs some Adobo for the meal she’s making next week but it has to be bought today. She needs some stuff for her vacation in October but today at this exact moment in the middle of May is the best day to get that shopping done. Or perhaps its time to go buy more cleaning supplies as I have mysteriously run out all of a sudden. Game time though, completely out of the question.

There you have it folks, just a few of the wild shenanigans Latino Gamers have to deal with it. Do you have any different ridiculous issues? If so make sure to leave them in the comment section below! Subscribe and thanks for letting me vent.

May 22nd, 2018 by