Mar
19
2018
March 19th, 2018 by Kurt "Chet" Christel

Nintendo delivers the goods in more ways than one, and several iconic characters are seeing the limelight.

Senior News Editor and part-time rapper Vega couldn’t be here last week and I was too busy pretending I was getting better at Monster Hunter World to notice (though seriously, thank you to those who contributed). This edition of Lucky Gamer Recap will get you whaaaaa… two weeks of news? Does that mean you’re gonna get 14 hot topics this edition? No, of course not; 14 isn’t lucky, 7 is. But I promise you I’ll work twice as hard, okay?

1) Nintendo Directly Delivers Definitive Deadlines

So in case you missed it, one of those big grant Nintendo Direct thingamagigs happened. A lot of announcements were made. One of which involved WarioWare Gold, which would have been a stellar thing if it wasn’t just another 3DS compilation game. What’s up with Nintendo putting big compilation games like this and Mario Party Top 100 on the 3DS? Everyone has a switch now, c’mon Nintendo. Detective Pikachu’s on 3DS too? At least we got another No More Heroes and… oh, it’s some minigame compilation too? Ah well, at least it’s on the Switch. We also got that sweet Dark Souls port coming and with a dope ass amiibo to come with it! Continuing the course of WiiU games nobody played that are coming to Switch, Captain Toad: Treasure Track is finding it’s way to the Switch, but with additional levels and content. For some reason, Crash Bandicoot also made it to the Switch, originally a Sony exclusive. Man, if you’ve got a remake in the works, Nintendo is totally down with tossing it on to their roster. I for one who didn’t play the remake series would love to play it on the small screen.

Here’s a second paragraph on the direct, just because there’s so much to discuss! Splatoon 2, a game that’s constantly evolving with a steady feed of free content is about to get a 3.0 update that has a lot of stuff. More than 100 new pieces of gear are coming, tons more levels (so many levels), and they introduced Rank X for people who rank higher than S+. There will also be a badass new and highly challenging single-player campaign called the “Octo Expansion.” Oh, and I guess the squid kids will be in the next Super Smash Bros game for Switch, which got a tease of at the very end of the direct.

2) Dynamic Duo Deuteragonist’s Dong Dangling Discussion

In the last of crazy “why is this news?” phenomena that the internet likes to indulge in, we have Luigi. Apparently, we also got a good look at his dick. You see, I left out the part of the Nintendo Direct where they introduced Mario Tennis for a very good reason. This is that reason. Yep, you can catch a very good glimpse of the plumber’s phallus in one of the promotional shots. In fact, people were so obsessed over his schlong, they took to measuring it and the results are staggering. Apparently it’s 3.7” while flaccid. That’s… a pretty hefty package. No wonder Daisy doesn’t get kidnapped as often, Luigi is keeping her mighty satisfied. Yep, I went there. I subscribe to the whole “Peach and Bowser are shagging” fan theory, and in my eyes this almost adds more credence to the tale.

3) SEGA’S Sonic Satisfaction Starts Soforth

Just when we thought with Sonic Forces that SEGA couldn’t learn a damn lesson about how to get the Sonic Formula working, something incredible has happened. They realized just how huge of a success Sonic Mania was and decided that now was the time to make a physical release for it. Prior to this, the only “physical release” of the game was a collector’s edition that came with a ton of physical swag but a digital code for the game. Now, they have big plans for the erinaceomorph (look it up). The real-life copies of the game will be available for PS4, Xbox One, and Switch, with a sleek looking reversible slipcover with a retro aesthetic and a 32-page art book. Dubbed Sonic Mania Plus it will have such features as something called “Encore Mode” which they haven’t elaborated on, and two more characters will join the roster: Mighty the Armadillo and Ray the Flying Squirrel. I had to look it up and they are indeed real Sonic characters from the Genesis age. It will retail for $29.99 and come out this summer but those who already own the digital copy with have the extras made available at a later date. Also, there will be a new cartoon miniseries, and news of a film is abuzz.

4) Battlefront 2 Mitigate Microtransations to Make up for Maniacal Multiplayer

EA’s Battlefront 2 may go down as one of the biggest follies of overreaching when it comes to negative treatment to it’s consumers. After immense pressure, EA shut down a loot crate system it had originally planned to implement. It was scrapped at the last second because the crates had gear upgrades that created a seemingly pay to win atmosphere. Well, the crates are gone, but just plain ol’ microtransactions are back. Indeed, you can still get crates, but they only contain cosmetics, emotes, and other items that don’t impact gameplay. These crates can be bought with in-game currency or premium currency. Indeed, although this is a step in the right direction, improvements could still be had. We still strongly advise simply waiting for Battlefront 3 or playing the first one, as we were not too kind to it with our review and this change doesn’t really give it any points.

5) Famous Fighter Finds Friends and Foes in Fighting Franchise

Bandai Namco has always been spot on with adding interesting characters to their Soul Caliber series of fighting games. Some more famous ones were Link, Yoda, Darth Vader, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Kratos. Now they’re about to get medieval on you, and are including Geralt of Rivia from the highly acclaimed “Witcher” games by CD Projekt Red. In case you don’t know who he is, here’s a primer: He roams the lands fighting more monsters than you fight in monster hunter, is bound by a code in taking coin for all his contracts, carrier of two swords (one for humans, one for monsters), knows 5 spells, and is a real ladies’ man (chicks dig scars). Honestly,  not sure how he’ll fit in with Soul Calibur VI or what he wants to do with the eponymous sword, other than adding it to his vast collection of swords. Not a bad goal really, he’s just the ultimate collector. Now, the question on everyone’s mind: how many of the female cast will he end up sleeping with? Guess we’ll find out when the game comes out.

6) Ridiculous Rumours Recovered Remotely

It wouldn’t be a lucky gamer recap without some serious rumors. Word has it that a Splinter Cell for 2018 was briefly listed in Canada’s Amazon store, but has since been taken down. But the world could do with a new Splinter Cell game, possibly one with a new character as protagonist Sam Fisher has really been through the ringer, having stopped 3 major terror attacks, gone deep undercover, killed his own boss, thought his daughter was dead, and forgot to do the laundry that one time. The last Splinter Cell game was Blacklist from 2013. Five years off is a pretty decent vacation. Just shoot me if they decide to make it open world.

7) Tomb Raider just hit theaters and it’s not terrible.

The most recent Tomb Raider film stars Alicia Vikander as the famous Lara Croft, this time taking on the form of the rebooted character from 2013. The film has had mixed reviews, mainly that it goes over the top too frequently, but in this age of superhero films, this isn’t really a bad thing. For big fans of the new game, the adaption has been reported to be extremely faithful to many of the game’s events, sometimes even copying some of the many many injuries she sustains. This game is determined to look as authentic as possible, and if you want to see a film that is highly representative of a video game, you could do far worse than this adaptation. You can check out Chris Stuckmann’s review here if you’re interested.

Making all those alliterations was very mentally taxing and I’m never doing that again, ok?




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Sep
18
2017
September 18th, 2017 by Vega Montanez

iPhone news, and Bethesda announces more Switch ports.

Another week has passed and Nintendo has made another strong play for all of our gaming attention. I mean how could we expect anything less? Nintendo showed up to 2017 with all intentions on smashing the competition. Not getting a stupid draw like the Canelo vs GGG fight but a full on technical knockout like Mayweather V McGregor. Fear not however, there is so much other news alongside the Nintendo assault.

1. It’s the return of the wolf goddess!

After it was prematurely leaked last month, Capcom had no choice but to announce the official return of Amaterasu! For those of you sad sad people who do not recognize the name, it means you have a second opportunity to experience the masterpiece Okami. And this time in HD. The game is literally about running around as the goddess Amaterasu in wolf form, painting life back into the world. That sentence still doesn’t do this game justice, but for only $19.99 believe when I say this is one of the greatest games you’ll ever play. Make sure you paint the world beautifully when the game releases December 12th on all consoles.

2. From the creators of Grow Home and Grow Up comes an online FPS.

Sharing only a unique colorful art style, the latest title from Ubisoft Reflections is Atomega. Don’t let the lack of the word Grow in the title fool you, this game will still have you growing your Exoform all the way up from small sphere to enormous robot. What makes it even more amazing is this all new gaming experience will be available on Steam on September 19th. Fellow gamers, at this point I would like to publicly say it’s going to be a busy holiday season.

3. ThatGameCompany sure knows how to name a game…

Introducing the latest title from the masterminds who brought us Journey, Flow, and Flower this new title is all about romance. Or something like that. I guess I should give you some official info now. Sky is being touted as a romantic social adventure game in which you play as the children of light with a goal of bringing light to where it is most needed. The game will support up to 8 players and will be launching first on Apple TV, iPhone, and iPad. No mention of how long the launch exclusivity is or if other platforms the will get the game, but given the relationship with the Playstation brand I’d bet we will see it on PS4 soon.

4. Speaking of That Computer Company…

It was a huge week for Apple fans who like to play games on their devices. During their annual iPhone event, Apple once again dug deep into Gaming and AR technology. At the event they announced three iPhones to chose from this year each sporting a brand new A12 chip and 6 core processor to make games look insane. The iPhone 8, 8 Plus, & futuristic (although a tad silly looking) iPhone X will also sport a brand new Super Retina OLED display. That combined with the massive processing power and Apple’s stranglehold on the quality of its App Store games makes for a very interesting direction the mobile landscape is heading. Super Mario Run anybody?

5. Oh no Call of Duty what are you doing!?

It should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that the Sony and Activision partnership has spawned a Call of Duty PS4 bundle. What does come as a surprise however is how gross the console looks and that once again it is not a PS4 Pro. Seriously what the f*ck is going on up there people. We want PRO Bundles damnit. Rant over. The Call of Duty WWII bundle will come with a 1TB PS4 in the exclusive came green style along with a non0-camo green Dual Shock 4 and a physical copy of the game all for $300. I want the controller for sure but the console itself looks kinda silly. Oh well.

6. The Switch goes big!

We already knew Skyrim was coming to the Nintendo Switch, but now we have an official release date and so much more. Skyrim will be launching on Nintendo Switch on December 17th but thats not the real big news. The big news is that Doom and Wolfenstein 2 will also be coming to Nintendo Switch! Doom will be available this holiday season and Wolfenstein 2 sometime in 2018. Third party support for the Nintendo Switch is coming in hot, although delayed. There was a crap ton of announcements made regarding the Switch this week but Grandmaster Chet already did a really nice recap [Editor’s note: I didn’t, sorry.] so you can check it all out here. Thanks, Bethesda!

7. Good scary things coming from Korea.

I know, I know they just fired a missile so maybe making Korea jokes isn’t the best idea. However, I thought it was funny. Anyway, Coma will be coming to a PS4 or PC near you very soon. Originally scheduled to launch in August the game will now be releasing on September 19th alongside Marvel Vs. Capcom Infinite (you all know I had to mention this game at least once). Now let’s talk about Coma, the horror game set in an abandoned highschool that forces you to make your way out while avoiding possessed classmates and teachers. A new trailer was released to remind us that the premise of this game is not funny. Also for all of you who are still butt hurt about the Korea joke, relax the development team is from South Korea. Those are the cool guys.




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