Hello friends, Chet here. What you are witnessing is one of the absolute best games Bethesda has ever made. This game single-handedly shows of the true depths that the developer and publisher can reach. This is an absolute game changer, both literally and metaphorically. Because it changed the Fallout games, and as a game changed the whole world! It’s so good, that we had to give you a whole ELEVEN reasons as to why this game was so good, because 10 just wasn’t enough. In fact it’s so good we are not even going to review it. Check out why it’s great over here!
In case the blunt sarcasm wasn’t enough, it shouldn’t have to be pointed out that this video is SATIRE.
The release of Bethesda’s Fallout 76 has been nothing short of a complete disaster.
Terrible reviews (even from games media).
Abysmal user scores everywhere.
Old glitches that were never fixed.
Tedium, very little to do.
Ridiculously easy to cheat.
Canvas bag changed to cheap garbage.
Annoying map and compass layout.
And accidentally doxx’ing their own customers due to a hiccup in their pre-orders for the Power Armer Edition. Ouch. The UK sales figures are showing a huge drop in sales, a whole 80% or more down from Fallout 4. It’s not a good month for Bethesda. It must be an even worse week for Todd Howard. At least as of now, they are fixing the issue with the cheap bags and getting people what they bought.
I’m trying my hardest to play this game and enjoy it, but it is so fundamentally flawed, it’s hard to work up the nerve to carry on. This game doesn’t feel like an actual product. It’s at best either an early alpha. It feels more like someone tried to mod a survival game with Fallout elements. But this combo doesn’t stick so well. It’s… bad. You know it’s bad. We know it’s bad. Everyone knows it’s bad. Except for the concurrent user base who are still playing it. They can force their fun in all they want, it’s still not going to make it any better.
So, that’s a bad review, right?
0/2 GRAPHICS – Why does this game look and run so terribly even on the One X?
0/2 STORY – There is no story. What about player progression incentives? Nope. There is none of that either.
1/2 AUDIO – The new soundtrack is surprisingly soothing. But there’s nothing special about anything else.
0/2 GAMEPLAY – Realtime VATS. The inability to pause or be safe anywhere whatsoever.
0/2 FUN – It’s not. It’s really not. I can’t “MAKE” it fun either. Nobody is playing.
If you wanted a number, there’s your number.
But that’s not a real review. And that’s no way to go about it. So, no, that score doesn’t actually count, and we will review the game eventually. We are going to wait and see if Bethesda can fix this. Why? Because it’s possible. There’s been plenty of games that failed when they started and turned out great later on. We all remember the backlash Hello Games got when they released No Mans Sky. A lot of the features they said would be in there were absent. They didn’t say much about this.
Instead they put themselves back to work. Now we have a No Man’s Sky that has a lot more to do and suits many different playstyles. The same could be said of Destiny 1 & 2. Same for Final Fantasy XIV. Even Bethesda themselves had this with the original release of Elder Scrolls Online. Each one was pretty short and dry on content, but expansions greatly improved upon them. The same could be said of a large number of indie survival games.
That’s the boat we are in right now. Bethesda, your game is broken. Fix it. We’ll get back to you when you do.
Mystery game opened with a lot of atmosphere. It was Halo Infinite.
Phil Spencer came on rocking his jacket and t-shirt, as is expected.
He talked about Fanfest and other charities.
Then he said they would show off 50 games.
18 exclusives, 15 world premieres, but that’s usually a lie because they are almost always time.
Ori: The Will of the Wisps
Another Ori featuring a lot more characters and a trailer was show off that featured a lot of action.
Announced for 2019.
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
From Software popped up, and in a while, we discovered it was a ninja/samurai flavored souls game.
Todd Howard everyone!
Fallout 4 added to game pass.
Fallout 76 is a prequel to all the games.
4 times the size of Fallout 4, set in West Virginia.
The cinematic trailer was unleashed in black and white.
The game was revealed to be a PROPER Fallout sequel.
An in-engine gameplay trailer was shown featuring a child playing around with space toys and doing cool stuff to the real world.
Set in the same universe as life is strange.
Oh look, a PS4 game on Xbox.
A big in-engine trailer featuring a LOT of Terry Crews.
It ironically looked like Saints Row 4.
A bigass gameplay trailer was shown, showcasing the plot, exploration, and enemy encounters.
Phil Spencer came back on and the brakes were put on the onslaught of trailers.
Kingdom Hearts 3
A lot of gameplay was shown in a trailer, featuring a lot of speaking scenes from Frozen, along with confirmations of content from Wreck it Ralph, Tangled, Hercules and Toy Story.
Sea of Thieves
Story content has been added, featuring a lengthy cutscene for a trailer.
Cursed Sails and Sacred Seas, coming July and September.
Same Trailer as EA press.
Forza Horizon 4
A long trailer was shown showing multiple kinds of weather and locales.
“Great Britain” is the location.
The world will feature a shared world drive instead drivatars.
The game features multiple seasons.
You can interact with other cars from your car.
Release date October 2nd, available on Game Pass.
Phil Spencer came back on again, making a few boasts and talking about the new studios acquired with The Initiative, Undead Labs, Playground Games, and Ninja Theory, Compulsion games. All will now be big
We Happy Few
Story trailer was shown off.
Release date August 10, 2018.
Summer 2018 was given a release date along with new game modes, maps, and DLC.
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Oh wow, a PS4 game on Xbox!
The Division 2
A very tactical trailer was shown that featured nothing other than talking.
It was followed up with a gameplay demo that featured a forested environment.
It was revealed to be in DC and featured a firefight in an airplane graveyard.
Xbox Game Pass
Ashley Spencer introduced FastStart, a program that will install your games faster.
She made a really awkward smile while nobody clapped.
Games that are Xbox Exclusives will release on Game Pass same day as retail release.
They also added many many games to the library including ESO, The Division, Fallout 4 which are available now.
Indie Game Sizzle Reel
One of these will catch your interest.
Shadow of the Tomb Raider
A new trailer was shown with a lot of gameplay featuring the plot, locations, and action gameplay.
It’s not Skate 4, you guys.
MMO trailer with many scenes.
Devil May Cry 5
A mixed trailer and gameplay trailer showed off the short-haired new Dante from DMC. I see no way in which this will cause a commotion.
Real Dante was shown at the end.
This might be a Dad game.
The devs came out to talk about it, one of them talked about the Xbox One X enhancements.
Hideki Sagochi said it will be the “best game he’s ever made”
Cuphead The Delicious Last Course
Coming in 2019, only a teaser was shown.
An isometric rogue game with a whimsical fox featuring polygonal graphics.
Afterward, Phil Spencer came out saying all the next games are world premieres.
Trailer combining your favorite characters from many different fighting animes.
Dying Light 2
The game had an introductory trailer that showed the setting with a bit of gameplay.
After, the dev came out to talk about new features of the game.
It was emphasized that the game world will have actual consequences.
They showed a “live” gameplay demo featuring a large amount of traversal.
Afterward, they showed a critical choice in the game that had different consequences depending on whether you side with a faction or kill them.
Only a teaser and 2019 were shown.
Just Cause 4
A reel full of in-game cutscenes and gameplay was shown, it’s more of the same.
Gears Pop! & Tactics & 5
A mobile game, based on Gears of War Pop Vinyl toys, teased with a small trailer.
After, Gears Tactics was shown, an RTS adaptation of the series.
Then they officially announced Gears 5 and showed off a cinematic trailer.
The cinematic trailer was very emotional if you’re invested in the franchise.
A lot of the scenery looked spectacular too, along with some new enemy designs.
Big Phil came out to close the show, summarize everything, and say more random things about the company and the console.
Big fakeout ending, as another game came out.
We got our first real look at the game, featuring a full story trailer that showcased the setting and story.